LaDaDiDaDi: a sort of defense of Miley

In the aftermath of Miley's performance at the VMA's, I would like to draw attention to several things:

1. At her most-clothed point, Miley Cyrus was wearing a strapless leotard.

2. She performed with three grown men. 

3. All three of them were fully clothed--literally from chin to feet.

4. Miley Cyrus is 20 years old

5. Her clothes were ass ugly, and the stylist who dressed her needs to be fired.

With the exception of the last, which, despite its truth, is only related in the fact that it also concerns her appearance, all of these observations should be alarming because of what they say about American culture, not about Miley Cyrus herself.  So let's look at observations number 1-3, first of all.

This is Miley at her most-clothed point in the performance:

From here

First of all, to get it out of the way: the outfit is ugly.  So.  Fucking.  Ugly.  But, unrelated.  Now let's look at what Robin Thicke, Kendrick Lamar, and 2 Chainz were wearing:

From here

So tiny, revealing outfits are what is expected of our female performers, while head-to-toe suits and sweatpants are acceptable for male performers.  It's apparently enough for men to leave everything to the imagination, while women need leave almost nothing.  Admittedly, Miley's outfit was over-the-top, but this is what our society has taught women that they need to do to get noticed--and noticed she was.  

And let's not forget observation number 4: Miley Cyrus is TWENTY YEARS OLD.  To those who accuse her of setting a bad example to teenaged girls, I say that America needs to set a better example for all women, regardless of their age.  Miley was a teenager less than a year ago.  20 years old is not really a twenty-something yet--I find it strange that we expect her to be a role model for people her own age when she is battling with the same issues as (and almost certainly more than) they are.  The finger needs to be pointed instead at the societal values that have led her to believe--100% correctly--that dressing and performing provocatively will attract attention and fame (or infamy, but is there a difference in Hollywood?) for her.

And, oh, the lovely hypocrisy that is human nature; this post, in whatever small way, is increasing the attention she's drawing from her ridiculous performance.  I'll go research Syria now and deal with my own appearance insecurities.   

To Be Womanly Always: why sororities are feminist organizations

I know, “feminism” is a loaded term.  I also know that “sorority” is almost certainly not the first word that comes to mind when you think about feminism, or even one of the first ten.  Or hundred.  Maybe you only think the two words relate to each other in that they both involve women, but I am going to explain why sororities are, indeed, feminist organizations.  I'm not claiming that they're perfect, or that everything they do is feminist—as my friend pointed out, there is some emphasis on etiquette and appearance that could be argued to be the opposite of feminist.  But, on the whole, I find them to be quite empowering to women, and I'm going to explain why.  

From here

First, I’ll elaborate on what I mean when I say, “feminism”.  It’s a difficult term because it means a number of different things to different people, both in its literal definitions and in its connotations.  Feminism might refer to a social movement in a specific time period, or it might conjure a scary image of a belligerent man-hater. 

But I’m not talking about any of the historical feminist movements here, nor am I talking about radical feminism.  What I mean—in general, but, more importantly, in this post—when I say, “feminism” is simply the idea that every single person is equally valuable when it comes to basic freedoms.  I’m not saying that men and women are exactly the same—to assume that men and women are all equal IN EVERY WAY is stupid and presumptuous.  For example: men are bigger, generally.  In something like a wrestling match, a woman and a man probably shouldn’t compete against each other, unless they happen to have similar body weights, body fat percentages, and strengths (is that even measurable?  Probably.), which is unlikely.  But, that being said, if I have the same job as a man, am equally qualified, and do the same amount of the same quality work, there should be no difference in the amount of money we make.  Period.  A person’s height and/or anatomy has little effect on his or her intellectual ability, and shouldn’t have an effect on the way he or she is treated, at least legally, professionally, etc.

When I say, “feminism”, in this post, I also mean the progression toward achieving this kind of equality, which necessarily includes helping women obtain it.  And it is in looking at this aspect of feminism—the “helping women achieve equality” one—that I claim that sororities are feminist organizations.

You could ask, “But if sororities are all-female organizations, how are they promoting equality?  Isn’t that inherently UNEQUAL?!”  Yes.  It is definitely, 100% unequal.  But the fact is that, in order for anything to become equal, the underdog party needs help to get there, which, in turn, means that said underdog will need to receive resources, help, high fives, etc. that the already-powerful party won’t receive.  The trouble will be in recognizing when there is no longer an underdog, if ever, but that’s not the point of this post.  Sororities are all-female organizations, which means that all the benefits that they offer go directly to the women who are its members. 

Many of you have probably heard someone rattle off a list of the benefits of membership in a sorority.  I’m going to do it again.  Skip this part, if you feel like it, but if you don’t, you’ll get my personal take on what the benefits are and how they make sororities feminist. 

The first benefit is leadership experience.  I know, vague word that people throw around to sound important.  But what it really means is that the women who are in a sorority get the opportunity to practice handling a crowd, to learn what it means to motivate a group, and what it means to run an efficient meeting or plan a successful event.  They learn how to listen to (or ignore) both criticism and praise, and how to adapt to both of these.  Even women who might not have held a position will see how the events, meetings, motivations, etc. are executed, and what works and what doesn’t, so that they can adapt when it comes time for them to have to do it themselves.  These are all experiences that will help a woman succeed both in college and after, and help them prepare for handling business meetings, planning concerts or fundraisers, and keeping people who may be working for them motivated.  It prepares them to hold positions of power, many of which are historically held by men. 

Sororities also require that their members be involved on their campuses, in one way or another.  The biggest benefit of this requirement—though the reason that it applies to and benefits women, in this case, is simply that, again, sororities are all-female organizations.  Fraternities do the same thing for men—is that it not only encourages but FORCES members to explore their interests.  It gets them go out and be active, it makes them find things that they enjoy instead of encouraging them to sit back and accept the role that society has created for them.  It teaches them the value of doing (which was especially valuable to me); it combats the pervasive idea that laziness is happiness.  It’s not, and this realization empowers the women who discover it.  They will, for the rest of their lives, be unsatisfied with laziness, and be productive members in whatever lifestyles they choose for themselves. 

Finally, sororities remind members of the values that, as members, they should (because they are members of an organization that stands for something) hold dear.  This assumes that, in joining the sorority, each member agrees with the values that the organization stands for.  But a sorority regularly reminds its members of these values and expects them to live up to them—because, if we treat an organization as a kind of entity, a kind of collective consciousness of all its members—it knows that each of its members is capable of living up to those values.  Each member is and can be intelligent, kind, loyal, and hard working, and they should be, as often as they can.

It is in this that I find sororities to be the most feminist: they trust their members to do a good job at what they are asked to do.  Yes, there’s always bullshit about some member(s) who isn’t pulling her weight, and people will always complain and there will always be some kind of disagreement.  But even these show my point: if someone is upset because another member isn’t pulling her weight, it’s because the former knows that the latter is capable of doing better.  It is the ultimate in accountability, and, although it is difficult to be in the middle of, can actually help women empower each other.  This is why sororities are feminist entities.

That’s all for now.  I would like to hear your thoughts, if you want to share them!

Ellipses are the sluts of punctuation

I heard this phrase in some TV show somewhere at my sorority house one time, and it has some truth to it, if an ellipsis brings to mind the drawn-out breathiness of seduction.  And, for me, it does that. 

Sometimes. 

Most of the time, though, ellipses sound like the breathy uncertainty of someone thinking.  Or transitioning between thoughts, or trailing off.  Which is what they’re used for.  But when they’re used in place of commas, or periods, or literally any other punctuation, they sound stupid because that uncertainty wedges itself into that ellipses and doesn’t make any sense.  Punctuation is what makes text readable.  It’s what makes it come alive, what lets the reader picture someone actually saying it.  So when punctuation is misused, it effs up the flow of a piece of writing—and reads, in the limited voice of my imagination, as if someone were reading it AS IT’S WRITTEN.  Which sounds ridiculous.  Misspellings translate to mispronunciations.  Wut, cuz—they sound to my brain like someone who doesn’t know how to say those words.  And ellipses sound like the speaker.....

forgot what she was saying.

Some examples:

“What are you doing…” 

Is this a question?  Obviously, but minus the most important aspect of a question—the mark.  This ellipsis seems like the speaker trailed off in the middle of a thought—and there’s more to the question—or that it’s not a question at all.  Which sounds weird.

“Beautiful…”

This bothers me, again, because of the way it sounds in my head.  An exclamation point is more suitable to express an EXCLAMATION, which is what this is, in reality; the ellipsis, again, seems like the speaker trailed off in the middle of a thought, or is so taken aback by the subject’s beauty that it’s left him breathless.  Except that it was a comment on Facebook, which makes the former impossible (since the speaker could still concentrate enough to type the ellipsis) and the latter silly for the same reason. 

The ridiculousness of the fact that, as I sit here, drinking Earl Grey tea from a Big Ben mug, writing in English about English punctuation on my American Laptop, I’m sitting in my kitchen in Viterbo, Italy, is not lost on me.  At least I’m about to eat some pasta (with homemade sauce!).

Ciaooooo.